Golden Grief
by Desenchanter
Summary: She had a choice, her career on ice and a chance at the Olympics or him. Her decision only made her all the more determined to win. While her heart would forever belong to him... If she could win gold, would it ease the pain? Two-piece.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary**: She had a choice, her career on ice and a chance at the Olympics or him. Her decision only made her all the more determined to win. While her heart would forever belong to him, her soul begged to skate. Two-piece.

{~**G**_olden _**G**_rief_~}

[...]

At eighteen all her dreams would come true; at least, that was how she had it planned since she was four. She would practice each and every day, she'd get better and better, she'd enroll in competitions, she'd win and get the attention of an incredible instructor that could teach her all she would need to know to end up at the international event that the entire world would watch. That's how her life went, she devoted herself to little more than skating, school was important but not gravely, and boys were a nuisance.

Expect for one, expect for the boy with hair the color of ice and eyes the hue of the blinding sun, a boy she knew since childhood, a boy that walked her home from practice every day, a boy a few years older and always there at her competitions to encourage her. A boy that took her first kiss and stole her heart, the first boy to confess his love for her, her first and only boyfriend...

Toashi Inuyasha, her biggest distraction. Dates got in the way of practice, endless thoughts of him made it hard to remember when she was meant to spin, leap, or how many twirls she was destined to do, and her love for what had always been her backbone, skating, began to waver for the flaming sensation she held for him… that was why, she was certain, that she needed to end it. At the age of sixteen, she was too young to know what true love was, wasn't she? It was just a fleeting feeling, it would get in the way of her dreams, and her instructor the infamous old silver medalist Hayashi Kaede encouraged her decision, too. So she ended it with the boy, she said 'let's be friend' and at first he refused to speak to her anymore, refused to support her resolution…

A year passed and she devoted herself fully to the sport once more, she honed her skills and even partnered up with a handsome skater by the name of Akitoki Houjo, they were a perfect pair, they were in sync when it mattered, he could throw her higher than anyone else, and they won often together.

Then he came back, their friendship had lasted years before they dated, right? They could manage to be friends, she was giddy with delight to see him in the stands along with their mutual friends before any one of her performances—as long as it was relatively close to Tokyo, otherwise no one but her instructor was there. It was fine, it was a bit lonely, but slowly she reached closer and closer to her goal…

She made it, she qualified for the Olympics like she had always hoped for, she had never felt such a joy in all her life consume her when she discovered her and her partner would be going to represent their country.

Everyone was so happy for her, but the celebration was cut short for her, at least, when—at _her_ party—he showed up with another girl, a pretty one… an ever so beautiful, brown haired, chocolate eyed girl that same age as him. When had he started to date other people? Her friends were awed that she did not know, apparently it had been going on for a year… how idiotic was she, how could she miss it? Worse yet, it was through _her_ that they met, caring, cute, Kikyou was the niece of Kaede, it was at one of her competitions the two crossed paths.

She loathed the girl, Hayashi Kikyou, the moment they met though she knew she hadn't a right. She had given him away and for good reason, right? After all, she would succeed. She'd go and win, she _would_. The girl, no, woman was so kind, too, so sweet, and calm, the opposite of Inuyasha and his perfect balance—that's what everyone said, at least. Higurashi Kagome couldn't see it, they didn't work, she thought, though when she saw them kiss it seemed like their lips were designed for the others.

It was the first time in two years she shed tears over the relationship she had ripped apart.

She made the right choice, she did, she'd prove it… in just a few months, she'd show everyone that she made the right choice.

Not that anyone was asking, no one seemed to care but her any longer.

{~X~O~X~}

"Well done," Kaede, the old hunchbacked woman, congratulated as the two slid off the ice to place their protectors on their blades and wobble over to their seats, "Kagome, on your double spin you were off, Houjo, you were going too quickly near the end, slow down. You two need to be perfectly in sync for the short program, remember that."

"Yes, Kaede-sama," Kagome chimed just like Houjo did.

"We'll do fine, Kagome-chan," Houjo assured when he noticed her nervous tick of constantly rubbing her hands together come about as the announcers proclaimed the first couple would start, "we just need to get through the short program today and then we'll do the long one in two days, we've done very well this year, we placed—"

"None of those other competitions matter, Houjo-kun," Kagome chimed as her eyes wondered around the rows upon rows of seat, if there was a familiar face out there she wouldn't be able to tell but she couldn't help but continue to look anyway.

"We placed second in the world competitions—"

"_Second_ is not good enough, we need to place first, don't think that anything less is OK, Houjo-kun, or else you won't do your best."

"Alright, Kagome-chan, I won't," he nodded with a warm smile, he was such a sweet boy and obviously doted over her with extreme affections but she pretend as if she did not notice. They were partners, romance needn't be added to the equation or else it would all be ruined, and besides she'd hadn't eyes for anyone but a certain hot-headed hanyou… not that that mattered any longer.

That's why she needed to win, for him, to prove that she had made to give him up to achieve her dreams. He'd understand, then, wouldn't he? Did it even matter… did he even care anymore? She shook her head; those worries were the least of her concerns at the moment, so she shut her eyes and sat back trying her utmost to meditate her fears far, far away.

It worked well enough until she felt her partner tense up beside her, the American couple that beat them in the world competitions, the second to last couple before _them_, took the ice. Both held their breathes as the two soared across the ice as if they were floating on clouds, they had such grace, such relentless fabulous flowing motions, not one of their actions were at fault, nothing went wrong for them.

Neither of them were shocked to see their score come out good enough to debunk the French couple the formerly held first place. That left them, the last couple…

"Are you ready, Kagome-chan?" Houjo whispered as he stood up, holding his hand out for her.

No, but who ever felt they were really ready to step onto the ice at their first Olympics? Or any Olympics, for that matter, so she nodded regardless and took his aid to get up. She had to focus inward and ignore the world, the roaring coward, the annoying announcers as they slid into place on the ice, he was behind her, his hands floating about her waist as she posed and waited for their music to start.

This was it, this was her moment, the one that would define her future, the one that would justify her past.

Together they glided across the frozen slate, interlacing themselves with each other as they spun, they were in perfect synchronization as they both leaped up for a double-toe loop and landed at the same time, both with perfect posture, backwards to slid into their next place, his hands grasped her waist to through her in the air for a triple axel.

That was when they—_she_—made a faulty landing, not a completely noticeable one, not one worth falling down over, but it was enough that she knew a point or two would be deducted. Together, they ended in the proper post to hear the uproar of all the generous onlookers applauded their efforts.

It wasn't good enough, she knew that as she slid off the ice to ignore Kaede's praise, they wouldn't debunk the Americans, they'd come in second at best.

Worse… they came in at third, the French must have done miraculous—she hadn't been paying attention.

{~X~O~X~}

Practice, practice, _practice_, those were the only words that she knew for the next two days, she ignored all calls from her friends, she didn't bother to see her family that had traveled all the way to Vancouver with her to watch, and devoted herself to their program more so than even Houjo.

It was not all for naught; she didn't throw away something that honestly should not matter to her anymore—right? It wasn't like he was the love of her life; she had a long time to find that, right? He was just her first, that was why it was hard to let go… she needed to date someone else and all would be fine. Later, after she won her medal she'd find someone else. Someone better, just like he did…

"Damn it," she cursed quietly to herself as she landed improperly and fell to the empty ice, "damn it," she whispered again as she hit the cool sheet. No. No… she need to stop, she closed her eyes and took a breather, she would do fine tomorrow, she'd make her point—was that really all it boiled down to her now?

To prove that breaking up with that boy was the right choice?

"I'm so stupid," she whispered to herself as she lazily got up to brush the flickers of ice off and skate off, "any girl would kill to be here… I should be here for _me_."

But she wasn't and she doubted she ever could be… it was about him, it always would be.

{~X~O~X~}

"Kagome, you'll do very well," Souta, her darling little brother assured her as he sat down on the bench next to her, he was ever so giddy when she got him a pass that would allow him to come down to 'ground zero' with her.

"Thanks, Souta," she smiled, really, for her brother. It was not for selfless reasons that she pulled so many strings so he could sit beside her while she watched all the other couples do their long programs, it was for her benefit, really. He always calmed her, it was what she needed before going out on the ice, he was so darling to her.

"You're the best, no matter what," he kept up.

To him, that was true, so she brightened her smile and even laughed as she pulled him into a hug, "that's why I love you."

"I know," he chuckled back before his hand moved to his pocket, "hey, look, it's Miroku, can you take calls down here?"

"I don't know," she mused but did so anyway, what was the worst that could happen, "hello?"

"Kagome! You're going to do great; I figured Souta was with you so I called him. You've been ignoring my calls, little lady."

"Sorry, I've been busy," she coaxed, "but thank you, Miroku."

"You're very wel—" but he was not able to finish his sentence before the phone fumbled from him and a familiar female began, "you'll do awesome, Kagome!"

"Thanks, Sango."

"Seriously, I have complete faith in you and Houjo. You're going to win gold for sure, that's what all the announcers keep saying on TV."

"That's because you are watching it in Japan, of course they'll say that we'll win."

"That's besides the point," she assured, "you'll do great. We all love you and are rooting you on."

"Thanks," she sounded like a broken record.

"Hey, have you seen Inuyasha? He's there, Kikyou got them tickets and they went on a like pre-honeymoon vacation—"

"Wait, what?"

"Yeah, Inuyasha's there with Kikyou, it's not surprising you haven't seen them, you must be practicing all the time, right?"

That wasn't what got her the _pre-honeymoon_ part tore at her… pre-honeymoon, meaning, he popped the question? She had overheard him asking Miroku what the best way to propose would be but she thought that they were talking about how Miroku should ask Sango _not_ how he should ask _Kikyou_.

So, she lost him, completely and totally? He was to marry another… the phone slipped from her hands as she slid down in her chair to stare at the ground aimlessly. Great, just great, that's exactly what she wanted to hear before doing her long program.

Again, the Americans did brilliantly to keep their first place spot secure, the French did well, too, and a Canadian couple bumped them out of third place but that was understandable since they had yet to do their long program.

"We'll do great this time, Kagome-chan, we can actually win this," Houjo encouraged his blatantly nervous partner as they walked to the door that would lead them onto the ice.

"Yeah, we will," she whispered back with the weakest of smiles before they slid onto the ice to find their positions once more, the start of the program was much like that of their short, faultlessly they twirled together, perfectly they jumped and landed on cue, together they did a triple lutz grandly, then it was the second half—where they'd get more points for their efforts. The hardest part, when their legs were both weak, when they would have to focus more on their footwork, where their bodies were aching to stop, when Houjo would throw her in the air.

A little too high, a little too fast, was it his fault, then, that she lost her balance after her triple axel and didn't land right? That she hurt her ankle so badly when she fell to the ice with quite the thud… it echoed about her as the world stilled for that second, her dream died.

There was no doubt in her mind…

Yet they had to go on, and with grave pain she managed to get up and pretend that it did not just happen, that they were fine, that they'd be fine, that it would be OK…

But it wasn't.

She didn't let the tears that threatened her eyes come out as she slid off, ignoring Kaede's 'it could happen to anyone' completely as she sat down on the bench to wait for their terrible score. They might get third but… oh well; a medal is a medal, right? A bronze would be good enough, it's be better than any damn diamond ring, right?

No, her heart protested as she cupped her mouth and leaned her forehead over to kiss her lap.

Fourth place, they won _forth_ place over all. There was not a place worse than that, she was certain, it meant that you were _just_ barely not good enough to win a medal but still pretty damn good.

Just _not_ good enough, that was the part she'd always recall, no one ever remembers who won fourth place. Yet, everyone tried to cheer her up, even Houjo was pleased with himself, it was their first Olympics together, no one ever really placed on their first trip to them, they'd do better next time.

In four years… in four years, would Inuyasha have a cute little baby to dote over with his pretty wife?

{~X~O~X~}

That moment was why she gave up on him, she couldn't hold back the tears as she slid down in the blazing hot shower to feel the water pelt down on her, the sound overshadowing her sniffles and sobs as she wrapped her arms around her legs. _That_ moment was why she wouldn't be the future Mrs. Toashi but just the friend, gods; could she ever go to that wedding? No. She didn't care if it was selfish, rude, or anything of that nature, she'd never go to it. She could not endure it, she'd be practicing instead.

She'd win, eventually…

Maybe… yet, all her resolve to do so died the moment she had a doctor look over her ankle, it was fractured, she'd need to rest and get it fixed, lay off practicing for some time. Perhaps it was a sign, a universal F-You, Higurashi Kagome, _you_ made the wrong choice, let me prove it to you by wrecking your ankle and making you fall. Yeah, that seemed about right, that's what she thought at least as the tears swirled with the water from the shining shower head.

If it was under different circumstance, if she weren't trying to prove anything, she'd probably be thrilled with even placing fourth in the Olympics at all. She'd do better next time, for certain, that was how she should be thinking but now…

Now all she could do was cry and contemplate whose fault it was, Houjo's or hers? Did he throw her too high, too fast, hence it was his fault, or should she still have been able to recover?

"Damn it," she cursed sourly at the sound of the pounding door, with absolute reluctance she wobbled over to open the door in her oversized, complementary white, fuzzy, robe to glare at whoever was on the other side, "go away, Sou—"

"Gome, it's me," Inuyasha countered before the door was fully open, he stuck his foot in the suddenly closing door, "hey! What the hell—?!"

"Go away! I don't want to see you, ever!" She shrieked as she tried to push the door closed with all her might but she was weak compared to him, he had no trouble pushing it open enough to see her but she blocked his effort to walk in with her own body.

"I'm sorry you lost! You did really well—"

"No I didn't!" She hissed back as she opened the door to look at him coarsely, "I didn't get a medal—"

"You are an _Olympic_ athlete, Gome," she felt a stabbing pain each time he called her that name, only he ever did, "that's still really great, come on—"

"I don't want you comforting me, go to hell," she demanded.

That shocked him into silence, a rarity for the loud mouth.

"Go back to your pretty fiancée, I don't want to see you anymore, I _never_ want to see you again. I don't want to be friends, I don't want to be around you! Don't you dare invite me to the wedding, I won't come!"

For moment, that seemed to only baffle him more before her flustered words registered a growl erupted from his throat, "what? You are _jealous_ of Kikyou now? You broke up with me! What the hell was I supposed to do? Wait forever for you to change your mind!?"

"I don't care about you! Even now you still get in the way; if I'm ever going to win I need you gone!" She declared as she kicked his foot out of the door with her good one and grasped the handle so tightly that her knuckles whitened, "I'm going to be back in four years, I'm going to win! Watch me!"

"That's all you give a damn about, Kagome!" He snarled, "winning a stupid medal! Nothing else matters, you have no life!"

"I have no life with _you_," she corrected before slamming the door shut.

In four years, she'd be back, in four years, she'd win gold, in four years, she'd redeem herself to the world… in four years, she'd prove her point.

Right…?

Then why didn't deciding that make the pain go away? Why'd she still fall to the ground and cry her heart out all over again?

* * *

**A/N:** I couldn't help myself, I _looooove_ figure skating and the winter Olympics. I know the winter Olympics isn't as popular as the summer but it's my favorite. I want to point out, though, that I didn't watch the couples so I don't really know who won, I just put whoever, it's a fictional story, so why not? (I was beyond happy when Evan Lysacek won gold he's _sooo_ gorgeous.)

_Anyway_, this is a bit depressing, huh? It's a two-piece. They'll be one more chapter.

I hope you enjoyed and pretty please review.


	2. Chapter 2

{~**G**_olden _**G**_rief_~}

[.2.]

Everything got better, so much better. She should have simply done this from the start, _what_ was she thinking? Pair skating? You had to _trust_ another, obviously that didn't work well. Alone, she could focus fully, alone, she only had herself to rely on, alone, she would be able to push her programs further and further without worrying about another's skills or lack thereof.

Alone, really, she should have stayed that way. On all accounts.

Better yet, a Frenchmen approached her after her—what she considered, at least—complete failure at Vancouver, he was a charmer, handsome, and rather suave, she knew who he was right away—two time gold medalist Jacques Chevalier. He captivated her, flattering her about how _she _was the strength in her pair, that _she_ could be a gold medalist, too, but that her partner never could. He swore sweetly that with his guidance and if she'd go sole, he could make her a star.

She broke ties with Hayashi Kaede, separated from Akitoki Houjo, and moved from Tokyo to the winter wonderland that is Hokkaido to train, train, and train some more.

First, though, regrettably, it killed her really, she had to wait, wait, and wait until her ankle heeled perfectly. Monsieur Chevalier refused to let her do anything until he was sure she was back to one hundred percent—he was good to her like that, he was good to her in a lot of ways. The man was oh so debonair, so striking, with an air of foreign appeal that made her young heart go bump-bump. The ache that throbbed with each pound slowly melted away with each of his gorgeous smiles, oh, and was he ever _gorgeous_.

How many years separated them? Many, but she didn't count, she didn't care, maybe she just liked older men, maybe that was her type? Or, perhaps, it was the gold medal he showed her frequently. His short flowing curls of coal colored hair with a small, an ever so _small, _swirl of silver—_the color of _his_ hair—_weaved in here and there. If anything it only added to his appeal, to her at least, and his blue eyes could pierce through any girl's front.

No, she had to push such thoughts away; she had to focus on what he was saying in his heavy accented Japanese—poor, at that. When he learned she spoke English nearly flawlessly he was so relieved, his English was equal to hers, still heavy accented just like hers, but his voice was smooth, his accent was amiable.

He was more than just a couch, he was the ideal manger. Somehow, over the four years in between Vancouver and Sochi she became a sensation. She wasn't a singer or an actress, and hadn't an intention to do either, so what did she do that caught her country's heart?

"You are adorable," Monsieur Chevalier would always tell her with a wink, her heart would flutter, her knees wobble, did he know what he did with just that small gesture? Just those refined words?

Offers pooled in, everyone wanted her to be their ad-girl, and at first she was reluctant, why would she do that? It was beside the point, she just wanted to practice. She had given up everything to become the best, she abandoned Kaede—never would she have to see _Kikyou_ then, too—and Houjo was so dazed when she broke it off, 'you'll find someone better' she had told him but it didn't look like it made it any easier on him. She wished him the best, she truly did. Kaede didn't take it so well…

But, not just them, she moved away from Tokyo, she left Miroku, Sango, her high school friends, _Inuyasha_, all of them and rarely kept in contact with them, too. She could have, it wouldn't have been hard to return their calls—though, Inuyasha… he never called. She changed her number and never told them after a year, it wasn't because of them—she was fairly certain of that, at least—it was this crazy stocker named Onigumo, he got her number and wouldn't leave her alone. Monsieur Chevalier got her a new phone, a masked number, he was the greatest.

So, back to those offers, she didn't see the point but Monsieur Chevalier said she should, that she should _live_ and have fun. That she couldn't do figure skating forever and if she became a face all adored to see then when her body no longer allowed her to skate her looks would still allow her to sell products. It seemed a little wrong but if Monsieur Chevalier—Jacques, actually, he began to want her to call him _that_—thought it was a good idea, it must have been.

It was small things here and there at first, just modeling for magazine ads for phones at first, nothing sensual, she just needed to look 'adorable' and like a winter fantasy. The idea caught on, more wanted her to be the face of their products, then dramas wanted her to come on and make small guest appearances. As long as they didn't last more than an episode or three then she'd agree, anything else and she'd say 'no'.

Practice still came first and life was… fun. For the first time in so long, a weight she wanted to go away for ages was gone. She liked smiling for a camera; she liked talking to eager journalists, she liked skating by herself, she liked Hokkaido, she adored Jacques.

And he, apparently, adored her, too.

Was it immoral? Perhaps, but it freed her to give in to him every once and a while. It didn't get in the way of practicing; they agreed once it started that there would be a wall in between their professional lives and their private. One to never be crossed or confused.

Her family would frown upon it, probably, so she kept it to herself. It was bad of her, she was certain, but she… didn't keep in contact with them that much.

Sometimes, rarely, not as much as she would have thought, she wondered about him… she wondered what he was up to, if the wedding went well, if he had any little children running around, but… that didn't matter. She made her choice, he made his.

That was that.

{~X~O~X~}

Fluidly, beautiful, and with absolute perfection, that's how the final skater preformed—a South Korean who was favored by many to take gold in their competition in Sochi, Russia. Kagome could see why and felt her stomach turn as she watched her bow, with a broad smile, before skating off the ice.

"Kagome," Jacques whispered, "you will do amazingly. Do not fret."

"Merci," she teased with a smile. She was the top in her country in singles now, she had made a name for herself in international competitions over the years, too, and possibly just as many that thought the South Korean would won gold thought she'd take a medal, perhaps even gold? Her story was apparently endearing, to many countries. A former pair skater, falling, losing her chance at a medal, embarrassing herself in her first Olympics appearance, turned to a sole skater who caught her country's heart and became quite the little ideal.

Japan had ample journalists in Sochi to bother her at all times, though when she had the time she'd speak to them. Some Americans wanted her attention and she gave it, an American news network did a profile on her and Jacques, she spared the time for them. France had a great interest in her because of Jacques, they interviewed him often and he pulled her aside to speak to the cameras though she only knew very little French, barely enough to have a simple conversation.

Now she was back, four years later, to win a medal. Her mind was clear, her conscious free, and her breath steady as she slid onto the ice wearing her sparkling wardrobe that made her look like a little light blue ice princess, just like it was meant to.

Her short program had the potential to score the most points; she was the only one doing a triple axels. Three twirls, three spins, that was what all programs had to have, no more, no less, but she'd do the best. She knew it as her lullaby like music started and she began to slide backwards; she shut her eyes as she sped up.

She'd be perfect, that's what she kept telling herself as she floated through her program. Nailing her triple axels quickly followed by her double toe loop jump. Her music picked up and so did her enthusiasm, the roar around her disappeared as she twirled and swirled around on ice.

It was her niche, her world, it was where she belonged.

Truly.

With a deep breath she slid to her final pose and lifted her hands up in the air to hear the bellow of applause cheer around her before she bowed and slid off the ice to hug her loving couch.

"Bon," he assured her with a kiss upon her temple, "très bien, mon chérie."

Bon was right, she did well, very well, she scored highest.

Finally, she was on her way to gold.

{~X~O~X~}

"Souta!" She giddily cried as she slid off the ice she was practicing upon to hug her brother that was no longer so little, "I'm so glad you made it!"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I missed your short program, sis," he replied with a smile as he hugged her back, "but I watched it, it was really good."

"Thank you, thank you," she gloated with a bow as she stepped away, "ah, feels like it's been forever."

He just nodded to that, "you're so going to win gold, sis, I just know it. Everyone back home thinks you will, too."

"Oh, I hope so," she sighed with the grandest of smiles, "so how is everyone?"

"Everyone?" he coaxed, "or… just Inu—?"

"Kagome!" Broke short their conversation, they both glanced over to see her couch come their way, "chérie, there are some reporters here from Paris that would like to talk to us, do you have the time? Oh, bonjour Souta."

"Hello, Jacques," he muttered back.

"Yeah," Kagome shrugged as she glanced over to Souta, "I'll see you later, we'll have to go out and tour Sochi after tonight is over, OK?"

"Alright, but are you sure you'll be able to find the time to spear?" He gripped.

"I'm sure I will," Kagome chimed before she headed over to her charming couch, completely missing the sarcasm that laced her little brother's voice all the while. She was too happy to hear it.

{~X~O~X~}

Gold.

Gold.

_Gold_.

It was hers, finally, she could feel it, taste it, see it, it was just a reach away. It electrified her, sent sweet shivers down her spine as she slid around the ice that was _hers_ that night. She swiveled along with her bouncing music, leaped with the beat, flew in the air as she spun, and with such brilliant force twirled around, changing poses in the process.

Fabulous, she knew it, she was doing beautifully. Better than ever before, _far_ better, she was at the peak of her game, she was going to break all her previous personal bests, at the _Olympics,_ while her whole country—that now adored her so—watched and cheered her own.

Could life get any grander?

_Yes_, a small voice whispered as she slid to the middle and bowed, an uproar of cheers echoing around her as she tried to catch her breath, _yes, there was still _one_ thing that could make it perfect_.

Gold.

She screamed since it couldn't be helped; she jumped around, clapped her hands, hugged Jacques tighter than ever before, kissed him blatantly upon the lips, and lifted her hands high in the air in victory. It was hers; finally, four years later, she redeemed herself, fully. _Gold_. It was hers, hers, hers! Her lifelong dream was won, she had a medal, not just any, but _gold_.

… _just like his eyes._

The ceremony was brilliant, she held a large bouquets of flowers as her country's national anthem was played proudly, the heavy medal around her neck as she looked out to the cheering audience. Everyone was thrilled, her country was giddy for her, reports from all over hounded her, Jacques was so pleased with himself, everything was _perfect_ so _perfect_…

But not when she stepped down to walk, alone for the first time since she won, throw an empty hallway. She leaned against the wall; her breath hitched in her throat as she dropped the flowers and covered her mouth, closing her heavy lids.

Four years of eagerness for _this_ moment and something was missing… why wasn't she thrilled with herself? Why wasn't she really, really, _really_ happy?

Did it matter still _that_ much to her that he was gone…? Four years had passed, 1460 days and yet… it still mattered, it still _truly_ mattered that he wasn't there to share in her conquest. Her choice of a medal instead of him was verified, she won, she did the right thing, _right_? But, regrettably… it didn't seem like it. The medal around her neck was heavy enough to make her slid down to her knees but the weight in her heart that she had pushed away to ignore, that she thought disappeared, suddenly bombarded her.

Tears began to trickle down and they weren't from joy…

"Congratulations," she vaguely heard from behind her, "you finally did it."

She took a deep breath and shut her eyes all the more, whipping her streaks of tears away, and pushed herself off the wall to look at the adoring fan that had found her to bother her _right_ when she'd rather be truly alone.

Her hands snapped up to cover her gasping mouth as her hazels widened.

"Yeah, I know, it's been a while," the so-called fan nodded nonchalantly, as if they had just seen each other yesterday instead of _four_ years ago. "So, those tears of yours, they're of joy, eh? I've never seen them from happiness. You've gotten angry enough to shed a few, miserable enough, but I've never seen them out of elation… good for you, I really am—"

"What are you doing here?" She whispered finally as she let her fingers slid down her lips, "…how?"

"Plane, obviously," he snickered.

"That's not… what I meant," she murmured, her hazels wavering down to the floor.

"I'm not sure, really," he muttered back as he took a few steps closer to him, "I just figured… that if you were going to be in another Olympics then I'd be here again to watch you. I've seen you on TV, in magazines, on billboards, on _buses_, so I figured… why not come see the real you? Sochi is closer than Vancouver anyway."

"Tickets are… really expensive…"

"I figure it's worth it," he said in such a hush that it warmed her chest, her breath quickened when he took another step. Was he honestly just a step away from her? After so long…? Was she delusional; had her lack of sleep and overexertion finally gotten to her?

"H… how's your wife?" She stuttered as she leaned against the wall for support.

"What wife?"

That won her full attention, she parted her lips with every intention of saying something but nothing came to mind, nothing could leave her tied tongue.

"Right," he shook his head, "you thought Kikyou and I were engaged, I forgot… that never happened, I don't know what gave you the idea that we were, but I never asked her. We haven't been together for a few years now; I actually just attended _her_ wedding a few weeks ago. She got married to this doctor guy, Suikotsu, they're good together. I am happy for her."

"If… if you weren't engaged why didn't you say so?"

He shrugged again, "you were pissing me off, you were _such_ a little brat, I didn't know –I didn't really care at the time, either—that that would be the last time I'd talk to you. You are such a little," he bit his lips together and took a breath in before regaining his unstable cool once more, "changing your number like that? You little brat."

"There was this creeper that was stocking me, I had to," she protested.

"That's what you get for plastering your face everywhere," he snarled back.

"I'm sorry people like me!"

He growled at that, "keh, whatever."

"Inuyasha," gods, it felt brilliant to say his name; it was the first time in _four_ years she had, "I think… I made a mistake… I think I…"

"A mistake?" he mused before he took that final step, he raised his hand up to place it beside her head, "I was kinda hopin'… now that you're done with this whole 'winning a gold thing'," he mocked, "that you'd come back to Tokyo. You family misses you, Miroku and Sango misses you…"

"Do you?" She whispered, "do you… miss me?"

His eyes shifted across her face, the face that had altered over the years, matured, the face that their country doted over, the face that he _hated_ to see everywhere, the face he could never forget. "There was this _stupid_ bus stop just outside my place that's had your photo plastered upon it. First your stupid phone ad, then that bag collection you advertised, then something else, and another. Every time it changed I was hoping that it would finally _not_ be a picture of you but… it always was until a month ago, it was finally a picture of someone else… and I realized… I hated that it was gone."

Yes, same old Inuyasha, he couldn't answer a simple question. It would be too hard on his pride to admit he missed her but it wasn't hard for her to say, "I missed you."

He nodded softly before leaning in, their lips were so close and for a moment she flittered with the idea of kissing him but then another thought came to mind—Jacques.

She didn't even think. She just pushed him away and stepped aside, turning her cheek to him.

"Wh…?"

Hurt, just a tinge of it, but she could hear it in his incomplete stutter.

"I," she murmured as she lifted her hand to her heart, it brushed against her cold medal and swiftly her hands grasped it instead, "I… Inuyasha," she glanced over to him, confusion spewed across his face, "I… it's been a long time, you know?"

"Yeah," he grumbled back with furrowed brows as his golden gaze glanced away, "sure."

"I think," she sped when she noticed him hint to leaving, "maybe… I could transfer from my college in Hokkaido to one in Tokyo…? Maybe I could move home, spend more time with my family… maybe we could…?"

"Get to know each other again," he guessed, a subtle grin lifted his lips, "yeah, if you move back, I don't see why not."

"Good," she whispered, she had her medal, a lot of the colleges in Tokyo would want the ice princess to transfer there, and it was good for publicity. And with a gold, the princess could retire from skating on top of the world. She'd still love the sport; she'd still skate, she'd aim to become a chorographer for those that followed her, and if she ever had children she'd surely teach them to love the sport, too.

First and foremost, though, she'd end her affair with the charming Jacques then she'd move home, where her heart was… well, at least the one that owned it was there.

He always had, since childhood, and always would, until the day she died.

But that wouldn't be for quite some time, so until then, she'd finally enjoy, openly, letting him have her. All of her, her soul, her heart, her ambitious, she'd give him all of her, finally, like he deserved from the start.

Really, the only gold she ever needed with his, on her, always and forever.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, it was simple and short but I hope you enjoyed and please review.


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